Guys are taught that unexpected pregnancy decisions are “a woman’s choice.” You may even feel it’s wrong to say what you want, but your feelings matter.
While the choice is ultimately up to the woman, your input is vital and valuable.
Guys are normally unsure how they feel about this situation. Sometimes they may feel excited and hopeful. Other times they may feel overwhelmed and depressed. This is completely normal.
Guys should be honest with their spouse or girlfriend. Share what you’re thinking. Relationship counseling is available, free, at ComfortCare for any couple struggling with an unexpected pregnancy.
Listen to her.
Women need understanding and the opportunity to be heard. While you want to share how you’re feeling, you also want to make sure she feels heard.
It’s easy to offer a solution to every problem, but harder to just listen. So, give her the freedom to express every emotion without judgment. Tell her that you care and want to support her.
ComfortCare provides confidential, free sessions with a Patient Advocate to discuss unexpected pregnancy options. Fathers are welcome to receive resources as well.
See if she’s really pregnant.
Has she just taken a home test? She still needs a doctor to confirm a viable, intrauterine pregnancy. (This means the fetus is implanted in the uterus, not the fallopian tubes, and that the fetus has a heartbeat.)
Just because a pregnancy test is positive doesn’t mean the pregnancy is viable. About 1 out of every 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage.1
Make sure she’s tested for STIs (sexually transmitted infections).
STIs can affect any unexpected pregnancy decision.
For instance, a woman who has Chlamydia at the time of her abortion has a 25% chance of contracting PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) within 4 weeks of the procedure.2 PID is dangerous because it can cause damage to the affected reproductive organs. If left untreated, it can escalate into serious medical complications that can be lifelong.
If a woman decides to carry to term, untreated STIs can be transferred to the baby during delivery. All women should be tested to STIs regardless of their pregnancy decision.
At ComfortCare limited STI testing is conducted without charge and referrals for comprehensive testing can be made.
Educate yourselves on unexpected pregnancy options.
“Pregnancy options” can seem like funny words to someone with an unexpected pregnancy. Sometimes it feels like there are no options at all.
At ComfortCare, professional nurses and trained Peer Advocates can discuss any pregnancy options.Facts replace fears.
1 Obstetric and Gynecologic Diagnosis and Treatment Ninth Ed. DeCherney, Alan H, et al, ch24
2 “Significance of Cervical Chlamydia Trachomatis infection in Post-abortal Pelvic Inflammatory Disease,” Obstetrics and Gynecology, 60(3); 322-325, (1982); M. Chacko, et all