1. Offer listening and compassion first.
Women need understanding and the opportunity to be heard. It’s easy to offer a solution to every problem, but harder to just listen. So give her the freedom to express every emotion without judgment. Tell her that you care.
2. Your feelings matter.
When you share how you’re feeling it can deepen your relationship with your girlfriend and reduce stress. Sharing feelings, however, isn’t always easy. You may be unsure how you feel about this situation. Sometimes you may feel excited and hopeful. Other times you may feel overwhelmed and depressed. This is completely normal. Be honest with your girlfriend. You may feel like you don’t want to tell her your desires because you’ve heard “it’s a woman’s choice.” While the choice is ultimately up to the woman, your input is vital and valuable. Relationship counseling is available, free, at ComfortCare for any couple struggling with an unplanned pregnancy.
3. Is she really pregnant?
Has she taken a home test or has she had a doctor confirm a viable, intrauterine pregnancy? This means the fetus is implanted in the uterus, not the fallopian tubes and has a heartbeat. Just because a pregnancy test is positive, that doesn’t mean the pregnancy is healthy. About 1 out of every 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. At ComfortCare, women receive an ultrasound to confirm that the pregnancy is located where it needs to be and that the fetus has a heart beat. The ultrasound can also determine how far along she is.
4. Do you know about your options?
“Pregnancy options” can seem like funny words to someone with an unplanned pregnancy. Sometimes it feels like there are no options at all. Many couples feel pushed or pressured into one decision. At ComfortCare, professional nurses and trained peer advocates can discuss any pregnancy option. Facts replace fears.
5. Encourage STD testing.
STD’s affect any pregnancy decision. For instance, a woman who has Chlamydia at the time of her abortion, has a 25% chance of contracting PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) within 4 weeks of the procedure. PID is dangerous because it can cause damage to the effected reproductive organs. If left untreated, it can escalate into serious medical complications that can be lifelong. If a woman decides to carry to term, untreated STD’s can be transferred to the baby during delivery. All women should be tested for STD’s regardless of their pregnancy decision. At ComfortCare limited STD testing is conducted for women without charge and referrals for comprehensive testing can be made.
If your girlfriend won’t make an appointment, you can. Unload your thoughts and feelings with a trained Peer Advocate.